Potty training is probably one of the tasks of parenthood that most people do not look forward to.  The idea fills many parents with dread; imagining dealing with accidents, crying, bargaining, bribery and the most dreaded….poop!  I own a cloth diaper service and my daughter has been potty trained since 18 months old, so I meet a lot of moms and dads who ask how I did it.  I wouldn’t call myself an expert and every child is so different that I believe there is no one sure fire method that will work for them all, but I think I know a little bit.  As a nanny I assisted several parents in potty training and I think I learned a little bit about what doesn’t work….and what does.  So here are my 5 steps to a potty trained child.

1.  Cloth Diaper

I believe in cloth for so many reasons which I will address in another blog, but one of those reasons is that cloth diapers allow children to know when they are wet/soiled.  Studies show that cloth diapered children potty train on average one year earlier than disposable diapered babies.  ONE YEAR!  If the average toddler is going through 50 diapers per week that is 2600 diapers earlier.  That is a lot of diaper changes you could potentially avoid!  When a baby is wearing a cloth diaper they recognize the feeling of being wet or dirty before they are even able to verbalize it.  They will have an earlier understanding of what is going on with their body, how they feel before they go, and after, and be able to attempt control over it.

If you are reading this and your child is/has been wearing disposables, it’s still not hopeless.  Potty training can still be a breeze.  Move on to step 2.

2. Buy a potty early

Imagine if you had been doing something one way your whole life…no one ever mentioned to you that you might have to do it a different way someday, then suddenly one day they told you to do it differently and got angry with you when you made mistakes.  This is how many parents approach potty training.  Don’t suddenly make the decision that it is time for your child to go on the potty when they are 2.  Introduce the potty early and gradually help them discover what it is for.

I bought my daughter her potty when she was about 9 months old. I told her it was a potty and that her pee and poop go in there.  I put it in the living room near her other toys and it became something to crawl, climb and sit on.  Eventually she would be sitting on it naked and accidentally go….AH HA moment for her!  Which leads to the next step…..

3. Allow lots of naked time

Adults think of being naked as taboo or have developed self consciousness that instinctively tells them to cover up.  Children do not feel this way, they have no negative associations with nakedness, no feelings that they should cover certain body parts.  Now, I am not saying you should let your toddler be naked all the time, there is an appropriate time and place, but don’t unknowing place your negative associations onto their nakedness or the act of them going potty.  Let them be naked when they are home.  My daughter would spend a portion of everyday naked and it helped her to associate how her body felt and what was happening when she went potty….she was aware of it.  At first I remember she wouldn’t seem to notice too much but that didn’t last long. She then started getting upset if she peed on the floor and that lead to her trying to get to the potty before that happened!  It’s true cleaning up poop off the floor is not exactly fun, but be prepared for it.  If possible let the naked time be outside in the yard or in the kitchen where it can easily be cleaned up.  The payoff is many less diapers to change and you get to have a few hours a day with a happy baby….kids love naked time!

4. Let your child see you going “potty”

We give up our privacy in many ways when we become parents. When your child follows you into the bathroom use it as a teaching opportunity.  Explain what is happening and what you are doing.  Their curious little minds will watch and absorb and then when they are expected to do the same it will be familiar!

5.  Make it fun

Learning to use the toilet should be a fun and exciting step toward growing up for your child.  It should not be a time of stress or in any way a negative experience.  Read books that show others using the potty, explain how to use the potty or just make light of the whole process.  Sing songs about going potty, the best ones are the silly ones you make up as your child plays on or attempts to use the potty….make them laugh and enjoy the learning process.  Don’t criticize, pressure or reprimand mistakes.  Remember it is a learning PROCESS!  It will not happen overnight, but if you follow the no pressure, early introduction guidelines I think the whole thing will be much more enjoyable and stress free for you  and your child!  Good Luck!

I know i have been inconsistent in posting lately.  Beach Bums turned one and continues to grow like crazy! We are excited about new things on the horizon and planning for more and more growth….hopefully we can convert every family to cloth diapering, right?!

This Saturday we will be at the Birth and Baby Fair at Babies in Bloom in Vista from 10am to 1pm.  Please stop by for a look at some great baby related products and a chance to win some great raffle prizes!  Also, send all your pregnant friends down to check out cloth diapering and other great stuff!

baby fair flyer

Beach Bums Mama Patty started Baby Strawberry a few months ago and her creativity,commitment and friendly nature are sure to make it a huge success!  Check out her website (link at the bottom of the page). Even if you can’t make the fair, her stuff is worth taking a look at and buying for any little girl in your life!

And if you can make it to the fair it is sure to be a great day for the family!!

http://www.babystrawberry.net/home

http://www.batesnutfarm.biz/

The Padres will also be offering discounted tickets and using the proceeds to make the game carbon neutral! It is so great to see a large and influential organization in San Diego making an effort to not only practice green business, but spread the word about living a green life to all of San Diego. Thanks so much Harrison and Kimberley for thinking to involve Beach Bums in this and we hope that the Go Green Event is a great success!!

I hope you will all  buy a ticket and come down to Petco Park on Saturday September 4th to support Beach Bums and all the other great green businesses in San Diego.  Oh, and enjoy a great baseball game!  GO PADRES!!

Here’s the flyer for the event…which includes the coupon code for getting the half price tickets:

Go Green Flyer-1

I am looking for a daycare/preschool for my 2 year old.  I actually found one I like already.  It’s a home daycare. It has very small ratios, seems like a nurturing environment with lots of safety gates and age appropriate toys.  My daughter will get lots of attention and socialization.  So what is stopping me from making the call and securing the spot?

Having worked in child care, I know how to make the transition, take care of a child I do not know well, form a relationship with them. Now that I am a mom I  have a completely different point of view.  I am not sure I understand how any family I ever worked for left their children with me.  I had excellent references, I had first aid/CPR, tons of experience, an education….but I was a total stranger!!!!

So how do you get through it?  How do you leave your child and trust that they will be  OK and still be there when you return?  As a mom, I do not know.  As a nanny and child care worker I can give some advice…so I am giving this advice to myself as I write and I am sharing it with all of you in hopes that it will ease the pain of putting your child in another person’s care. The logical, child care worker portion of my brain will now try to talk some sense into the mom part.

Mom:  What if she gets hurt or sick?  As a mom you think of the horrible things that could happen to a child. You hear the stories and your heart breaks for the moms of babies or children that get hurt.  You just can’t dwell on it.  You can not let yourself think of every bad thing that could happen to your child or you will not enjoy their life or yours. So what do you do?

Caregiver:  It could happen, there is no denying that.   Be prepared!  I am CPR/first aid certified I know where the nearest hospital is and know I can always call 911.  I have your child’s doctor information and a consent to oversee your child’s care in your absence,  your phone number and another emergency contact. All bases are covered and we have a plan.

Mom:  Won’t she miss me? You don’t know how to feed, comfort, sooth, put her down for a nap, make her smile, etc…the way I do?

Caregiver:  As hard as this is to hear, it is harder on you then it is on them!  Most children, even if they are hysterical when you leave are fine 10 minutes after you are gone.  Once you are out of sight they find a way to comfort and/or distract themselves.  They realize that there are friends to play with, new and exciting things to explore and fun to be had.  That should make you feel good as a parent…yes, you want them to miss you, and they do, but you also want them to gain independence and explore the world without you.  So remind yourself that they are making friends and having fun and that it is a great thing for them.  And cherish that moment when you come back and they are so excited to see you and tell you about their amazing day!

It’s true, I am not a replacement for mom.  I will not do everything exactly the same way, but isn’t that partially the point of placing your child in someone else’s care.  To help them gain some independence from you and learn how to cope with situations on their own.  Your child will adjust to having things done differently while they are away from you and they will be fine.

Mom:   Will she be there when I get back?  This is the most irrational of my fears by far!  I’m not talking kidnapped, though of course the thought crosses my mind, but more just gone!  I don’t have as many of these moments now, but when my daughter was a baby I’d put her in the car to go out to run errands and she’d fall asleep.  She’d be so quiet and of course, rear facing so I couldn’t see her and I would have to strain to get a glimpse of the top of her head or her foot or something.  It was like if she were out of my sight she could simply vanish.  Like the whole experience of becoming a mother were a dream.  This is how the idea of leaving her at daycare feels.

Caregiver:  You are mom…your child will be so excited to see you when you get back!  This fear will subside once you have been through a couple days of daycare and you see how your child has made friends and had fun!

While I am still battling with this, I know the day will come soon where I will need to give myself up to the logic and the rational argument that my daughter will be happy and healthy and will thrive in daycare, preschool, high school and eventually college.  I will let you know how that first day goes…

OH! And save the date…..Beach Bums First Birthday

Saturday September 11, 2010…..more details coming soon!!

www.lookingforasitter.com

The most recent blog is mine and there will be several more following.  I will link them here for anyone interested in reading them.

I realize it has been quite a while since I have written a blog here!  Beach Bums has been rapidly growing and keeping me very busy. Yay!  I will write something resourceful and interesting soon. In the next week look for a blog all about the vast and sometimes overwhelming world of Diaper Covers.

So Mother’s Day for me was a reminder to enjoy this phase of Marley’s life and of mine because it won’t last forever.  A chance for me to reflect on what being a mother means to me and here’s what I came up with:  Being a mother is  the greatest opportunity to inspire and to be inspired.

Everyday Marley inspires me to be stronger, kinder, sillier, more responsible, work harder, relax more, smile more and enjoy the simple pleasures of every day.  And how lucky am I that I get to play a part in inspiring her to be and do all of these things and more throughout her life?  Yes, we make sacrifices as mothers, but the joy that might come from reading that book or seeing that movies pales in comparison to the joy of watching our children laugh hysterically as they dance around the house or smile when they learn something new.  So worth it!

I love that my job allows me the opportunity to meet and get to know so many families.  It really is one of the best things about my business.

I hope all of you amazing moms out there had a wonderful Mother’s Day!

Please share what being a mother means to you….

Speaking of inspiring…

Also, A friend on Facebook posted a link to a Mother’s Day Proclamation which tells of the beginning of Mother’s Day and how it started as a way for Mother’s to protest the loss of their sons in the Civil War.  It related to something I had been thinking about.

I had heard of a book, Motherhood Manifesto, which is about the responsibilty of today’s mother’s to change policies, legistlation and the overall public attitude toward mother’s, the work they do and the issues that effect them.  If anyone’s read it, please let us know what you thought.  I plan on reading it soon and will write more once I do.  But the sentiment I am trying to put across is now that I am a parent I feel more of a calling to get involved, to help bring about changes so that when my daughter is my age she will be respected if she decides to be a stay at home mom, paid the same salary as a man if she decides to work and has an easier time if she is trying to be both a mom and a career woman.  The proclamation is a inspiration to become involved in the struggle of mother’s everywhere to make changes that will effect our children’s future.

For more information on the book or to find a way to get involved:

www.momsrising.org

As part of Wholefood Market‘s commitment to local communities, the Hillcrest and La Jolla stores have named The San Diego County Childhood Obesity Initiative as a 5% Day recipient.

On Wednesday, May 5th, 5% of both stores net revenues will be donated to support the SDCCOI, whose mission is to reduce and prevent childhood obesity in San Diego County by creating healthy environments for all children and families. The addresses of the stores are 711 University Avenue (Hillcrest), and 8825 Via La Jolla Dr. (La Jolla). For more information call 619.294.2800.
The 5% will be used specifically to fund upcoming work on sustainable school gardens.
Whole Foods Market and the SDCCOI hope that you can stop by at either Whole Foods Market location to support this partnership’s exciting plans for our community.
Sincerely,
Whole Foods Market and The San Diego County Childhood Obesity Initiative

https://app.e2ma.net/app/view:CampaignPublic/id:28469.6663614929/rid:04aae403a865aa7c9ba4ba54dbd2612e

“The Council serves as a resource for safety programs focusing on safety education as the key to long range reduction in avoidable deaths and injuries, while working with and through partner organizations.”

One of the services they provide is Car Seat inspections.  For a fee and by appointment, they will install your car seat and teach you how to install it correctly.  For more information or to make an appointment visit their website or call 858-621-2313 x116.

The council has received a grant that allows them to give low income families free car seats and install them for them.  Here’s more about the program:

The Pacific Safety Council’s Keep ‘Em Safe Program is made possible by funding from the County of San Diego, through a grant from the Office of Traffic Safety.

As a non-profit, non-governmental, educational organization with over 50 years of experience in safety training, the “Keep ‘Em Safe” Program offers assistance in providing a car seat per child and installing the car seat for free to low-income and refugee families whose income is at or below 200% of the Federal Poverty Income Guidelines.

Clients will get priority over the car seats at the Check Up Events if they take the Car Seat Class first.  To register they must contact Elaine at 858-621-2313 Ext. 110. We just recently started this program and we will continue to search for facilities that will allow us to use a room for our program.  When clients take the classroom portion, they will learn the importance of a car seat and safety training, along with a voucher which will give them first priority of the car seats at the Check Up Events. At the Check Up Events, we have technicians that install the car seats for free. Several people attend the Check Up Events and car seats are limited per event. This is why people who take the class get a voucher for first priority over someone who just goes to the Check Up Event.

Again, thank you for the opportunity to assist you in promoting your commitment to safety.  We admire your commitment in taking a proactive role in our community.

Sincerely,

Noemi Duenas

Car Seat Program Director

Our Mission…The Council is dedicated to making our communities safer places to live, learn, work and play by providing quality education, information, programs and events.